The Insulted Muffin

   There was a slight twitch in her eye as she started to fumble with my outer apparel, the piece that held me together and kept me safe. She didn’t understand how delicate this tiny piece of fabric was, and how could she? The twitch was making me nervous as I saw it the second time...I had never seen an eye twitch like that in all my life, I tell you. Funny because I had seen lots of looks in lots of people’s eyes...mostly when they stare at me with salivating desire, that tender guilt that is innocent enough to give in to without there being too much fuss about it. Today, I was said guilt.

  The man came over and sat down next to the girl. She was still peeling away slowly, as if she wanted to bide more time with me. I didn’t really care either way, I had accepted my fate and sat rather still awaiting my demise. What was that racket? That damned Van Morrison in the background, this was going to be my last few moments on earth, a song about some god-forsaken moon dance? Well, so be it. Dear God, have mercy on my soul, and please let there be some dignified music in heaven, perhaps some Bach or Ravel...anything that has some intellect and class. Wait, was the girl crying? 

  Why did she put my down? 

  

  What’s all this yelling about? 

  Is he going to hit her? No, surely not. Oh, there there, it’s ok, he’s probably a jerk anyway. Just go back what you were doing and forget he ever existed. Take your beautiful hands and keep peeling away at me in that soft, intricate way. Give me the lofty title of CRUMBS! PLEASE! Oh no where is he going? Where is SHE going? She can’t possibly think she can keep him from leaving. Why doesn’t she come back...

  So I waited.

  About an hour or so went by and still no sign of either one of them. They deserted me. They forgot about me. They weren’t coming back to claim me. I was forgotten. I was outraged. I was abandoned. 

  A store clerk came by and threw me in the trash. 

  As I sat there seething from underneath the endless rubbish that compiled on top of me, I heard ‘Brown Eyed Girl’ through the loudspeaker. 

Into it