A well meant traveler

Monday, January 27, 2014

It all started with the couch. The green couch with its smooth velvety cushions, the Victorian design, how perfect it fit in the tiny studio apartment that had been my cave of solitude for months. This couch was going to save me, I was sure of it, save me from days of finding it impossible to get out of bed, of needing to multitask so perpetually that I never got anything accomplished. Yes, this fine, well-made vintage piece of furniture would be the start of a very promising future.
See, I had always thought of myself as an actress. I always knew it was what I was eventually going to become. The summer before 4th grade was when I wrote my first play, “An Indian Enchantment”, which I also played the lead heroine. It was well received by my theater group and prominent adults in the community. It even got me an audition with a traveling theater company for their rendition of “Alice in Wonderland”. After landing the role of Alice, my mother politely declined to the director and explained to me that she simply didn’t have the time to cradle my desire to be involved in theater. A week later I pulled a knife on her in the kitchen. But that’s another story.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Tossed

Blue crash oyster waves

Twists tales of our time again

Acquire lonely days still

It’s back to Europe with our minds ablaze

Out of questions

Yet never lost

Love that long, sudden ended always

Bring only what you want to

Bring only what you need

After sudden whispers there’s a calling

I shout your name from my knee

Lay down so I can bring up reasons why it will always work

Open stories daily now

He calls me Hemingway and I tell him not to start it

You

are perfect

to me

I miss college if nothing more than that moment of forgetting what I thought I’d learned

I saw her yesterday and it turned into today all day long

Forever chasing trails of longing for the story I never really knew

Almost nearing an end of a pseudo-liberal beginning

Because lately it’s because of hesitation I write

I eat alone because I like the yearning

I accept proposals then invite a cancellation

I toss up angry gestures so I can’t feel anymore

Engage the people who write books about me

What am I saying, oh illuminating one?

How have I tortured your mind into thinking

That I am indeed a possibility?

This ardent love completes me

Ever-thoughtful words pour out of my mouth like velvet kisses made for kings

These things I keep like a promise that lay open

A door shuts like a stark mistake

Swing with me forever

Let’s tessellate until we reach the top of the year together

A madhouse of sex and rock ‘n’ roll

Just this

I saw you before you noticed me...I got lost in the adventure of you...

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

my seance

I see you everywhere
your hands tightly in your pockets
walking towards me like you need me
a vague memory glides past you
some weak time in our strength
you don't let it shift your focus from me
I let the tide change
I wait for you under the street light
there
in the night
like I used to
when we saw each other unexpectedly
you were my blue paint always
you handed me your canvas like a present
but now your hands are empty
except for that torn fabric in your jeans
there's a waveless air now
no fickle memories, no tears or lonely nights beside each other
when you would kiss the inside of my arm and I would think "I could die like this..."
you are my muse that will soon become the center
in my seance of eternal love